Everything shifting - Kona Week 5
And another week has been and gone..! The time is flying. This week has been really significant for me in a number of ways. As I arrived in Kona, I asked God to do whatever He wanted to in my heart, mind and life, even if it meant me feeling uncomfortable. I don't want there to be anything inside me that is not honouring to Him. So this seems like quite a vulnerable post to write, but I'm going to roll with it anyway because I love you, because we get to do the journey together and because I pray that God will use even the ugly parts of me for His glory as He changes my heart.
Learning to live in community is a really beautiful thing but also a challenge as a bunch of strong women who have lived independently for years are thrown together! There are various self-sufficient, independent and stubborn areas of my heart that God has been surfacing over the week. It's particularly interested me that in our Western culture, being independent and self-sufficient is often seen as something to strive for, yet in reality my heart easily becomes hardened when I look to myself to sustain me and expect to be able to do things my way/expect other people to do things my way. No one looks to me as Miss Stewart here!!! Practicing dependence on God is quite a scary thing as it means I give control over to Him on a minute-by-minute, motive-by-motive and conversation-by-conversation basis. I have not got this sussed - but I am trying to engage with Him and engage openly with others when I feel vulnerable and tearful rather than get frustrated with them/myself and hide away or harden my heart. The healing that happens just through being vulnerable, asking for forgiveness and praying together is remarkable! Who would have thought, hey? We should do this more often - on every level of society! Imagine what would happen if our businesses and governments operated in this way?!
Working in the cafe the last two weekends has been amazing but also really hard for me in that I am working in an area where I cannot get everything right all the time, and where it
matters when I don't! I am not always going to get people's orders exactly right, I might spell their name incorrectly on the cup, the figure on the the till and the amount of money in the till when closing may not be exactly the same. And it's really frustrating for me as I want to be as accurate as possible and honour people as much as possible! But, again, this is a part of my heart that Jesus is just touching on and melting - it's ok to ask for orders a couple of times if I'm not sure. It's ok for people to have to wait in line. I will make mistakes, but it's a safe place to learn, people are super kind and gracious and it really humbles me. As I work on the till, I am the face that greets people and takes orders - so I have been saying over and over again for many hours this weekend "Hi, how can I serve you?". Today, as I have been saying this on repeat, it has really touched an area of my heart and mind. How much do I serve people in real life? How much do I look at Jesus and look to other people's interests rather than just serving myself. How low do I get? Do I serve everyone or only those who are like me? Our cafe managers model such beautiful servant leadership. I am learning so much from them and their prayerful, humble attitudes.
Our teaching this last week has been out of the ballpark! I feel like our speaker (Peter Tsukahira - a Japanese American Israeli) took every controversial subject that is seldom taught on and blasted through them - bringing deep Biblical truth and incredible global perspective. For example: the end times, the restoration of Israel, faith and works, gifting and calling. I have never heard a perspective like this before, I have been so challenged and provoked in my spirit through what he has had to say. I really don't know how to summarise anything in this space - perhaps check out this link if you are interested (www.petertsukahira.com). He has posted 15 minute teaching videos that are gold dust and an important prophetic voice to our age. There's lots of his talks on youtube too. Check it out - he is anointed!
A few wonderful things from the week:
I have joined our school worship team and have had the privilege of being part of the band leading worship in our tent. It's so awesome because it means I get to rehearse with, hang out with, seek God with and learn from some stunning musicians and worship leaders on our school. It's utterly something that makes me come alive - I feel so blessed that we have a keyboard and that there are other people as crazy and hungry for God as I am to jam with!
They let me loose to lead the game in family worship this week and look what happened (see photo)!!! This is the classic youth group game where you are in groups and can only put a certain number of hands, feets, bottoms etc on the floor. It's great! Family worship is genuinely one of my favourite times of the week. It is so much fun to have all the generations coming before God together and having a good time in His presence.
Dance has been a bit of a theme this week - someone who didn't know I dance in worship had a picture of me dancing, with my feet on fire, teaching others to dance and setting people free as we worshipped. Then the next day, another person who didn't know, asked if I am a dancer! Then asked if I could teach her how to dance in worship! Many of you will know I have been on a bit of a journey with dance and worship over the last ten years, and that I love to express my reckless devotion like this! I honestly believe that something happens in the spiritual realm when we get over our pride and reservations and just dance before our Father. Needless to say, this really encouraged me and I am praying through what is on God's heart for us in this area.
I received an incredibly generous financial gift from someone in the UK this week that blew me away! Many of you support me in so many ways and it never ceases to amaze me that you would want to do this journey with me and invest in me and in all that God is doing in such beautiful ways. Thank you with all that I am - I really do value each one of you.
One of my dearest friends in the world arrived here this week too. She has lived and studied at the University of the Nations for a long time and is back to do some kids outreach stuff. I am so excited that God would bring her back when I am here and for the chance to chase after Him together. It's also just good for my soul to have her near!
PRAYER
- For my heart - that God would continue to mould me, shape me and free me to be the Hannah that He made me to be. And that I would hold nothing back from Him.
- For my room, as we continue to love each other, serve each other and do life together. We're a tight team! Also for the various different groups that I'm a part of - that I would honour, encourage and love the people around me really well in the worship team, the outreach team, my small group, the cafe team etc.
- For peace and protection over this coming week. We have someone called Gord White with us. I have no idea who he is but I have heard that he has a powerful prophetic anointing so am fully expectant for more wild things!! (Will update you again next week on that!)
- For our street outreach on Valentines Day. We're going into town on the day that the cruise ships come in just to love on people, point them to Jesus and raise the joy level. I'm going to be doing some ceilidh dancing and face-painting! Please cover us on that day (1pm my time - 11pm UK time).
I will leave you with some more English/American anecdotes...
I asked my friend if I could borrow her jumper, and her reply was "What's a jumper?" hahaha!
They don't seem to have paracetamol here. Or they do but they call it by a different, complicated name that I have no hope of remembering. Ibuprofen is the same in the US and the UK though!
- They call a cent a "penny" even though it's not worth a penny! My friends didn't realise that a penny has monetary value (for us Brits). It seems to me that they would call one cent a penny, and an unknown collection of cents "pennies" but they wouldn't call 5 cents "5 pennies". It's a bit confusing, feel free to correct me on this!
- Also they don't know the words "tumble dryer/tumbler" or "hoover"
That's all I've got for now folks! Hope you have good weeks. Happy half term to my teaching friends - you are incredible! Rest well.
So much love
Hannah
PS please continue to reply and send me messages - I love it! Also remember that Wednesday is a good day to send prayer requests through. Love you all xx
PPS which toes are mine? How well do you know me?